When I Knew: The Importance of a Text Message

It was Christmas break 2016, and I hadn’t heard from my boyfriend in three days.

I knew he was in Mexico with his family, so I tried to stay calm about it. I told myself that there might have been bad cell service, or he couldn’t get away from all of the family activities. Silence from him during the holidays was understandable. I wouldn’t be that clingy girl that had to hear from her significant other constantly to feel secure.

I mentioned this to one of my close friends, trying to bring it up as casually as possible. I wanted her to know I didn’t think it was a big deal. My friend rolled her eyes and said, “Johnna, there is cell service in Mexico. And no one is ever so busy with their family that they can’t at least text.”

Just like that, my hopes for this relationship were shattered.

We had only been dating for a few months, but I had steadily noticed a decline in our communication. Since this was the first relationship I had been in where I went to therapy regularly, I was at least emotionally mature enough to bring this up to him (rather than letting it quietly simmer as I would have in the past). Internally my heart was racing when I told him that regular communication was important to me, but I thought the conversation had gone pretty well. He had admitted that he had been super busy with his living situation and applying to medical school, but that he would try to do better.

His “better” still wasn’t what I was looking for. At the time, I had convinced myself that this was the person I would marry. I had recently re-entered the dating scene after taking a few years break to develop a healthier mindset about relationships. So, the fact that he was the first person I broke that dating-fast with made me believe that he just might be it. When his communication was still lacking, I wanted to give him another chance to improve. I would probably just need to tell him exactly what I meant by regular communication.

Soon after he returned from the holiday break, I told him that I wanted to have a discussion in person. We met up for dinner . . . and he broke up with me.

Read more about this failed relationship and how it made me recognize that my husband was “The One” by heading over to Verily Magazine.

Johnna WilfordComment